Why do people universally crave confidence, arguably even more than they desire money, mates, and material success? Because, confidence is one of perhaps just two experiences in life (love being the second) that change all the other things in life for the better.People with greater confidence are rated as more attractive, adventurous and outgoing, and physically and emotionally healthier. They enjoy more and higherquality relationships. Confidence even makes people more resilient to stress.The more intriguing question is why everyone doesn't already have more confidence. You're probably underachieving your confidence potential not because of a lack of support or external success but because of accidental ways you've learned and been taught to think. If that explanation strikes you as too simple to be true, consider the following:
为什么人们普遍渴望自信，甚至超过了对金钱、伴侣和物质成功的渴求？这是因为，自信或许是人生中仅有的两种（另一种是爱）会令生活处处向好的体验之一。较为自信的人往往被认为更具魅力、更勇于冒险、更外向开朗，身心也更健康。他们拥有更多高质量的社交关系。自信甚至能让人在面对压力时更具韧性。比较耐人寻味的问题是，为何并非人人都自然而然拥有充足的自信？你之所以未能充分发挥自信潜能，或许并非因为缺乏支持或外在成就，而是由于你无意中习得并被灌输的思维方式。如果你觉得这个解释过于简单，让人难以置信，不妨思考以下几点：
• Self-limiting beliefs can make a rich person feel poor;
• 自我设限的信念能让富人感到贫穷；
• A strong person feel weak;
• 让强者感到脆弱；
• A beloved person feel lonely.
• 让被爱者感到孤独。
It turns out-—left unrecognized and unaddressed---the same types of self limiting belief patterns can also confine a potentially confident and self-actual.ined person to a lifetime of insecurity.
事实证明，如果这种自我设限的信念模式未被察觉并妥善解决，那么一个本可以自信满满、实现自我价值的人很可能终生都困于不安之中。
Why confidence is so elusive.
自信为何如此难以企及
If confidence were a metaphorical wise man living atop a Himalayan mountain, we could say that most people lack confidence because they have been given bad directions. Even the most precious and sought-after treasure will likely elude us without an accurate map.What are the common "directions"we are given to climb the confidence mountain? We are taught that confidence comes from a) having successful experiences; b) achieving degrees, promotions,and related milestones; c) from obtaining experience at the thing about which we want to be confident; and from d) support and encouragement from others.
倘若将自信比作一位住在喜马拉雅之巅的智者，那么我们可以说，大多数人缺乏自信是因为听信了错误的指引。即便是最珍贵、最令人向往的宝藏，如果没有精准的地图，我们也终将与其失之交臂。我们攀登自信之峰的常见“指引”是什么？我们被教导，自信来自于以下几个方面：a）拥有成功的经历；b）获得学位、晋升和与之相关的里程碑式成就；c）在我们想要获得自信的领域积累经验；d）来自他人的支持与鼓励。
None of these are required for you to become more confident. Yet these pervasive confidence myths are told to us so many times by so many authority figures that they appear unassailable. Worse,these myths also convince us that there must be something fundamentally wrong with ourselves because even when we "win", earn credentials and awards,invest months or years of work, and receive positive feedback from others, it rarely translates into confidence. Despite ticking all the confidence boxes, we too often instead manage to still feel like a fraud, whose disguise simply hasn't yet been revealed. If you've followed the confidence formula and haven't obtained the result, perhaps the problem is with the formula, not with you.
以上这些都不是建立自信的必要条件，但这些广为流传的自信迷思由权威人士反复向我们讲述，显得不容置疑。更糟糕的是，这些迷思让我们深陷自我怀疑，因为即使我们“取胜”、获得了证书和奖项、付出了数月甚至数年努力、得到了他人积极反馈，却很少能转化为自信。即便具备了所有自信条件，我们仍常常觉得自己像个骗子，只是尚未被揭穿翼了。如果遵循自信公式而未得到预期结果，那么问题或许在于公式本身，而非你。
This phenomenon-people lacking confidence despite an abundance of external indicators of skill, success,and support-is so common that it has a name: Imposter syndrome. It affects perhaps 50 percent of students in medical school and doctoral programs and shows us that the conventional thinking about confidence is not only flawed when it comes to improving confidence,it may even lead to lower confidence in a vicious cycle of achievement striving to mask growing insecurity. If everything you've probably been taught about confidence is untrue, what really works?
尽管技能、成就和他人支持等多项外在指标表现出色，人们仍缺少自信。这一现象太过普遍，以至于有了一个专属名称：冒充者综合征。约一半的医学生和博士生受其困扰。这表明，传统自信观不仅存在缺陷，甚至可能形成追逐成就掩饰不安的恶性循环，导致更不自信。如果你之前所学的关于自信的一切都是错误的，那么到底什么方法才是真正有效的呢？
What is confidence and how do you get it?
什么是自信，我们又该如何获得？
The path to confidence comes with good news: you don't have to be wealthy, brilliant, successful, or even experienced to get there. You can be confident right from the start, while still lacking any credentials, trophies, or fanfare'!. You just have to change how you fhink. By this, I don't mean changing how you think on the superficial, conscious level. Confidence won't come from afirmations", gratitude journals,or even meditation. The process of building confidence instead results from changing your thinking at the level of your core beliefs. By comparison, if you wanted to produce a lasting change in your behavior, it is critical to align your new behavior with your core values and goals. Without this connection to core values, behavior change lasts only as long as your willpower. The same is true for confidence.
通往自信之路上的好消息是：你无须变得富有、才华横溢、功成名就，甚至无须经验丰富，就能拥有自信。即使没有任何证书、奖杯或赞誉，你也能从一开始就充满自信。你只需要改变思维方式。我所说的改变，并不是表层的意识改变。自信不会来源于自我肯定、感恩日志，更不靠冥想。建立自信的过程实际上是在核心信念层面上改变思维方式。打个比方，如果想要实现行为上的持久改变，就一定要让新行为与你的核心价值观和目标保持一致。脱离核心价值观的支撑，行为的改变就只会持续到你的意志力耗尽。自信的培养亦是如此。
Confident people possess distinct core beliefs that differ from the beliefs possessed by people who struggle with Confidence. And these core beliefs of Confidence are more often the cause not the result--of both the external successes and internal satisfaction that confident people achieve. It is important to highlight that even people lacking confidence can succeed. In fact, they often do. For them, however, that outer success doesn't come with the internal positive emotional experiences enjoyed by the high-confidence person. Instead of satisfaction and a sense of achievement, the person who succeeds without confidence usually just experiences relief (that they didn't mess it up). If the latter sounds familiar, take heart: This cycle can be broken and replaced with a new way of living and feeling.
自信者拥有的鲜明核心信念有别于自信不足的人。这样的核心信念正是自信者取得外在成功和内心满足的原因，而非其结果。需要强调的是，缺乏自信也能取得成功——事实上，他们往往确实如此。只不过，这种外在成就并未伴随高度自信者那种内在的积极情感体验。缺乏自信的成功者获得的不是满足感和成就感，而是“幸好没搞砸”的如释重负。如果后者听起来很耳熟，别灰心：这种循环是可以打破的.可以用全新的生活方式和感受取而代之。
（译者单位：扬州大学）
